Here are The Rules:

1) I will be accepting entries between the dates posted on the top of this web page. Any entries received before or after this time will be disqualified.

2) All entries must be e-mailed to: iamfritz@hotmail.com. The subject line must read: CAPTION CONTEST. No subject line means your entry may be ignored or overlooked. No entries through any of my social networking pages or in person, snail-mail, or ANY OTHER MEANS will be accepted. Unless it's really, really funny. But I'll still need your e-mail.

3) I will be the final judge, though my wife and children and sundry others will doubtless offer input.

4) All entries submitted become the property of Fritz Gunter and IAMFRITZ.com.

5) You may enter as many times as you wish. Each entry, however, must have a different punch line.

6) In the event multiple entries have the same punch line, I will resort to my own judgment, but will most likely lean toward the first submission. So, act fast.

7) The Winner will be announced, hopefully, within 48 hours of contest close. The Winner will be notified via the e-mail address they used to submit the Winning punch line. After the Winner has acknowledged notification, the Winner's name and winning punch line will be posted below on this page. As this web site's creator and the contest creator and judge, said judgment will be final.

8) The Winner will then be responsible for e-mailing me a digital photograph of themself in any G-Rated context from which the digital portrait will be created. Adult, violent, gross or any otherwise inappropriate picture or context will be judged by myself, and the Winner will be required to submit a different photograph. Abuse of this rule will result in disqualification of the original winner and a runner-up will be chosen to replace the original winner.

9) The Winner will receive their completed digital portrait within 30 days. It's a busy season, and it may take a while to complete the pic. In the result of a delay, the winner will be duly notified of said delay but will still receive their prize.

10) The Winner will be required to digital acknowledge that the photograph is, indeed, a photo of themself, and not some other person, with a digital waiver.

11) The Winner may request multiple sizes of the digital portrait, but any and all sizes will only be provided once and once only. Digital portrait may be used for whatever use, as long as said use is not inflammatory, indecent or otherwise not respectable.

12) The Winner may not alter the digital portrait electronically, materially or in any other way. Wherever published, posted or otherwise displayed in any format, electronic, paper or otherwise, credit must be acknowledged to IAMFRITZ.com within the page it is displayed upon in plain sight although not necessarily in a fashion to divert attention from the page's intent. To aid in this, an electronic signature may be attached to the original image which may not be altered or removed in any way.

13) While copyrights of the digital portrait will remain with Fritz Gunter and IAMFRITZ.com, the Winner may use the portrait for whatever use they deem fit. IAMFRITZ.com and Fritz Gunter reserve the right to use the imagery within the above IAMFRITZ.com decency standards, for any and all advertising seen fit. Individuals who may or do not approve of their digital portrait being made available for world wide access on the Internet, Print or other media should not enter. If it comes to my attention that the Winner's Digital Portrait from IAMFRITZ.com is being displayed or used in any way deemed not acceptable to myself (Fritz Gunter) I retain rights to have it removed immediately.

14) Any dispute over the source of the submitted punch lines, Winning or Not, are not the responsibility of Fritz Gunter or IAMFRITZ.com. Submitters/Winners/Users are obligated for sorting out ownership before submitting their punch line. Fritz Gunter and IAMFRITZ.com bear no responsibility or obligation for confirming originality of submitted punch lines.

15) In the event of any and all disputes regarding the submission and judging of this contest, Fritz Gunter and IAMFRITZ.com will be the final and sole decider and judge of the contest results, and since this IS his web site, his word is final.

16) Entries that just aren't funny at all, or that are not understood (meaning: "I don't get it."), will be disqualified. If an explanation is needed, it may be submitted with the entry but you may want to try another pubch line anyway if this is the case. Fritz Gunter and IAMFRITZ.com retain all rights for judging entries by whatever means and having the final word in any event.

17) Further questions and concerns should be submitted to iamfritz@hotmail.com with the subject line: Caption Contest Concern.

18) IAMFRITZ.com and Fritz Gunter retain all rights to revoke use or distribution in any way, shape or form, electronic or otherwise, if said digital portrait is judged, by myself, to be used in a manner not conforming with these above rules.

19) Have fun! And stay tuned for next month's Caption It Contest! at IAMFRITZ.com!

20) To assist in tracking the digital use of said digital portrait, a unique code will be implanted within the computer graphic's hex code that will assist me in tracking it wherever it is posted and is impossible to remove without destroying the image. I've been at this a while and I know how to do it. While I may not have an army of lawyers to assist me in enforcing these rules, I do have a couple commercial law attorney buddies whose lives I hold delicately in my hands. They quake at the sound of my voice. They stand ready to do my bidding.

21) To enter you must be 18 years of age or older, or have a legal parent or guradian's permission, which may be included in a separate e-mail by them from their e-mail address.

22) If a winner of a previous IAMFRITZ.com CaptionIt! Contest would like to enter the contest again, that is his or her own..um...they can, and I currently place no restriction(s) on the number of times contestants can make entries or win.

23) I reserve the right and privilege to take these rules as seriously as I please, and with enough convincing or a stiff wind, may completely disregard one or all of them as I see fit. Should I choose to do so, it lies in the visitor's purvue to discern that I mave gone awry and to call me out on it. Or, try to call me out, anyway.

HINTS: Captions should be short, not more than 15 words. Topic of caption should not be too esoteric, but have a general appeal to the masses. Remember, my wife lends a hand in the judging and she is, well, blonde. Enter lots, use variations of the same line- one might strike me funnier than the rest. If it reads out loud smoothly, chances go up of winning. Many entries, though funny in nature, are wordy or inadvertent tongue twisters, and that simply won't do. Intentional tongue twisters, well played, are great. Also- the judge loves well done alliteration. Punch lines with a political fervor are iffy at best, as I have become disenchanted with politics lately and a potentially funnier line than another entrar's may be set aside simply because despite its humor, it just rubs me the wrong way. Liberal or conservatice, it doesn't matter. If you're going political, it needs to be reaaaaaaal funny. The more entries you send, whether in separate e-mails or capped into one, make me happier and more excited, and thusly more susceptable to laughing harder. Jokes are all about timing, right? So, pile `em on and see!


Thank you for participating in IAMFRITZ.com's Caption It Contest! I look forward to all your entries and Good Luck to You All